Month: October 2019

Poem: Corporate motherfuckers

~ John Loraine ~ 7 Comments

they know how to deal with you 

they know how to use you, 

they know how to eat your soul 

and fuck your brains out, they 

are always looking for something new 

and there is always something else and something’s more, 

and nobody is fucking happy with anything. 

the stock price is your god 

and you are the dog, the slave, the fucked up one 

who thinks to please them will mean 

to be one of them and be better than everybody else. 

they have their own club and the members are just 

like them, you will never be part of them. 

and even in the rare cases, you might have a chance 

they will break your soul and your mind 

just so you can be more like a slave for them. 

you sacrifice the best days of your life 

you run down the precious health you’ve been lucky to have, 

you’ve forgotten what it means to sleep well at night, 

and the fucking coffee means more to you than your blood. 

you sit at your desk numb and cold, 

the air conditioner is freezing you to death. 

you miss all these nice beautiful sunny days, 

the walks in the park, the time with your wife and children. 

you barely have time to spend on the fun stuff,  

all the things you love you will sacrifice for the  

bigger price, for the higher stock price, fuck you and fuck your life. 

the career is what you live for and they know it well and they make you  

feel like there is nothing else so important. 

and what do you get for that instead?  

401K up to 6% matching, 18 PTO days which you are always afraid to take, 

a few general main holidays, and fucking expensive health insurance, 

3% of annual salary increases and if you are lucky enough  

you might get a little promotion.  

corporate motherfuckers are there to kill you and 

destroy you 

and suck all the life out of you. 

be careful what you wish for and what you are sacrificing 

the best moments of your life to, 

i’m sure these fuckers are not worth it. 

My shit’s out of luck or the stories of my life. Part II

~ John Loraine ~ 7 Comments

Getting Fired

That day was supposed to be just like any other working day. It was last Tuesday of November 2017, the week after Thanksgiving. I came to work, as usual, five minutes before 8:30 AM and walked to my desk. I’ve checked my emails opened my drive, started to look over some files, checked what was left behind from the day before. Everything was just normal. I couldn’t even guess that this would be the day when I will get fired for the second time that year alone. 

The sun came out and lit up that usual workday with some sunshine but it has been still pretty damn cold outside. From the inside, though, it seemed like it was warm and nice out there, almost like the Spring came early. During these rare days, you always feel a bit nostalgic and happy and you just want to go outside, leave that fucking desk and that fucking job and enjoy some daylight and enjoy some sunlight and just enjoy the simple moments of your life. I haven’t gone outside until later. I always wait until 12:30 PM sometimes 1 PM before I take my lunch and leave that fucking place for at least one hour to enjoy my lunch in the car. Yes, I ate my lunch in the fucking car, like a true savage I am. That fucking place had millions of dollars in the banks all over this fair country of ours but they didn’t have a simple fucking lunchroom for people to sit down and eat their leftovers at. You had to eat that smelly shit by your desk or take it outside or to your car. I’ve started that job in early August when the weather was still nice and warm. I loved to go outside and eat my lunch by one of the patio tables and enjoying the sun and the wind and the fresh air, and most importantly away from that fucking cubical.  

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Poem: My poems – my soul

~ John Loraine ~ 7 Comments

my poems just keep coming 

back to me 

back at me 

like the rain 

like the hurricane 

like the thunder. 

they come in my sleep, 

they come in my car, 

at work, at lunch 

or dinner time 

or anytime I come. 

they boil inside me, 

getting ready for me to  

get them out there 

on the piece of paper. 

give them some life, 

make them real, 

make them alive, 

bring back to life 

just like my thoughts: 

sad,  

funny, 

mean, 

dumb, 

whatever. 

as long as they keep coming 

i feel good, 

i feel great, 

i feel alive. 

even when I don’t feel 

like writing 

i always have my poems. 

they will never leave me alone, 

even tonight, 

the deep and dark and drunken night, 

rain or snow or cigarette smoke all over. 

my poems are my soul, they keep me going 

even after rough days like this 

when I am so fucking tired, 

i need some wine and poetry 

to save me. 

My shit’s out of luck or the stories of my life. Part I

~ John Loraine ~ 9 Comments

My current situation and some deep ‘philosophical’ thoughts 

Sometimes you might find yourself thinking about something that you believe you are an expert of. Like myself, I am deep into my thoughts and they come to me one after another just like glasses of wine I am drinking, one after another, after another; and so into the night and so into my life. People are funny, thinking that they know everything. They like to share their bullshit with you, trying to convince you that whatever they say is the holy truth, the only right way. Usually, I just nod agreeably hoping to get the fuck out of there asap; to escape, avoid the entire situation, avoid everyone, abandon the human race. Sometimes you may feel like you just stuck there and you have to listen to their bullshit which is just simply driving you fucking insane. Why do I always have to be in those stupid situations, talking to the people I hate on topics I don’t give a shit about? Fuck all that, I think I don’t have to suffer anymore. Let somebody else waste their lives on that random bullshit. I am out. I don’t have a fucking minute to waste on any of your stupid problems. I just don’t care. 

I am thinking a lot about my future. What is it out there for me? What the hell will I be doing a year from now, two years from now, five… Who knows? Nobody. But we all live and hope for ‘the Best’ and ‘the Best’ is always fucking busy somewhere else but just never by me. Sounds familiar? Ok, good. We are on the same page then. All my life I have been waiting for a miracle, like something unusual might happened to me because I am a special person, the selected one, the fucking best person in the world. But nothing extraordinary did ever happened. It’s been a rough ride for most of my life. Nothing was easy, nothing was free. There was no accidental lottery winning, no credible person solving all of my problems, no lucky charms, no good karma, and not even a bad one. Always with my back up against the wall, I often think, am I on the right path? Am I doing the right thing? Where in the hell will I be if I continue to go this way or that way or if I just remain standing here waiting? What is this all about? Am I somewhere near the place I wanted to be? I do believe though, that some of these questions will find their answers years from now, eventually. But now I will remain here in the dark, questioning and figuring shit out just like a real man should do.  

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