Johnny’s life has changed a lot since he met Jessica. It’s hard to say if changes are good or bad at first. Over time, you’ll get a better sense of how they’ve really affected you. Johnny has matured since his early days. He started visiting the gym regularly and lost some weight while putting on some muscle. He still smoked his cigarettes and drank occasionally, but he was a different man. He started to write prose and poetry. He never knew he had all those stories inside him. They just kept on coming one after another. He loved writing poems. He submitted his work everywhere he found a fit for it. Once in a while, he would get his poem published in poetry anthologies or magazines. That burning feeling of becoming a published author was strong. He felt like a king. His writing was his therapy and healed his wounded soul. It was the only fucking thing he loved to do more than anything.
He thought about Anna from time to time. They had a great time together back in the day. He thought she was the one, but she wasn’t. These days, she is married and has a baby with Dan, her college roommate and childhood friend. They were living in his parents’ house in the suburbs. Everything was happening for them. Some people are just fortunate to have the lives they have. Some people were just born under the lucky star. He wasn’t sure if Anna was ever happy with him, though. But that didn’t bother him anymore. He has been a different person since they broke up. It’s been three years since he last saw her. Three fucking years passed like a week. He had suffered enough, and it was time to move on. Life wasn’t always fair to him, but that didn’t stop him. He was trying; he knew he could do it, he knew he could be a successful writer, and he knew he was not a fuck up anymore.
He met Jessica last year. She was a girl he knew from the bar. She was nice, cute, easy-going, and down-to-earth. She took an interest in Johnny after a small talk they once had at the bar. He seemed to be a bit shy but charming. She liked him right away. One thing led to another, and they were seeing each other regularly. Deep inside, he knew that Jessica was the one. She was the right kind of person. They got along well together, and that was the most important thing.
They moved in together a few months ago, and life was pretty damn good. Johnny wasn’t missing his old apartment full of bad memories, tough times, and full of fucking cockroaches. So he moved without regrets. Jessica supported his writing and would leave him alone when he was busy writing. He needed some time to himself. As Hemingway once said, “…writing is a lonely thing…” He hoped that maybe one day he’d publish his book, a novel or a short story collection, or even a poetry collection. He finally had a goal in his life. Things were finally looking up.
One morning, he received an email from a publishing agency offering to publish one of his short stories:
“Hi Johnny, I hope this email finds you well.
I finally got around to reading your submission, and I am sorry it has taken so long. We were just overwhelmed with submissions. I hope you will understand. I like the honesty and sense of desperation in your piece, a desperation all writers feel at some point or even frequently. It’s a great short story, and slightly crazy and funny, and speaks volumes about the nature of what it is to be a writer! I’d certainly publish, with one or two small edits. The piece is perfectly suited for our magazine, and I’d like to publish it and promote it on our social networks. It will be published with your featured image and a link to your blog if you have one.”
Johnny was waiting for this moment all his life. It wasn’t a dream anymore. The dream became a reality. Jessica has been working since early morning. He was alone in the apartment. He replied to the agency, saying he was happy to work with them and thanked them for the publication. He thought he needed to celebrate this event with Jessica. He wanted to surprise her when she came back from work. He cleaned the apartment, took out the trash, and washed the laundry. He opened the fridge, but there was not much going on. He looked in the bar closet, and there was no wine left. He needs to go to the grocery store and grab some wine.
He jumped into his car, rolled down the window, and lit a cigarette. He drove to the nearest supermarket to get what he needed. He went in there, got his stuff, and walked out. He was happy at once. He was happy that he was finally recognized for his work. He was happy that despite how crazy his life had been in the last few years, he still managed it pretty well, and now he’s publishing his story. He packed the stuff into his car and left the parking lot. His phone vibrated.
He received a message from Jessica: “Hey babe, how are you feeling? I’ve missed you.” He replied: “Hey babe, I’m great. How are you? I have some great news for you!” Sent. She was eager to find out what the great news was. Johnny pulled up his phone again and tried to reply while switching lanes. He turned left while trying to type his message to Jessica, but he didn’t notice the car approaching quickly from the opposite side.
Johnny’s car was flipped by the sidewalk with a smashed front and smoke coming out of the hood. The other car was totaled next to his. Somebody called 911. Ten minutes later, a police car, a fire truck, and an ambulance arrived. It was too late. Johnny was not conscious anymore. He was in a better place. His fucking car didn’t even have an airbag. He hit his head too hard. There was no chance.
The funerals were nothing but sad. Jessica was numb and pale all the time. The parents were shocked; tears never left their exhausted, colorless faces. The wind was chilly, and the sky was grey and full of dark clouds. It was miserable just to be outside. Being at the cemetery any day has been depressing, especially on a day like this. People were just standing there motionless, waiting for the burial. Some were crying, some were sad, some were just there, a part of it. The funeral home staff gave everyone a rose to put on the grave. People lined up and came to the grave one by one to say their last goodbye to Johnny. Parents were first, and that was the toughest scene. Everyone was crying, watching the process through tears. There is nothing sadder than a parent burying their one and only child. It took a good twenty minutes for everyone to say their last goodbye to Johnny before his body was finally buried forever in the ground.
An hour later, nobody was in the cemetery. One more fresh grave was sitting there amongst all the dead. The air was cold, and the wind made it even colder. Johnny found his piece without even looking for it. God has taken another talent into his heaven. Another writer is in the grave; another writer is gone. Anna only found out about Johnny’s death a few months later. But even then, she was too busy with her family. Jessica visited Johnny’s grave at least a few times a week. She was sad and missed Johnny a lot. One day at home, she opened his computer and his Gmail was up. She read the publisher’s message, and then she knew what the big news was that Johnny wanted to tell her.
About one month later, she received the magazine with Johnny’s published story in the mail. She opened a bottle of wine and poured herself a glass. She took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it. She was sitting at the kitchen table where Johnny used to sit to write. She opened the magazine and read, tears soaking through the pages.
The sun was up and shining brightly through the window. The tears were rolling from her eyes down her cheeks, smearing her makeup. It didn’t bother her. There was nothing more depressing than reading Johnny’s story now, a month after his death. She was proud of him. She knew that seeing this fucking story published would mean a lot to Johnny. Her fucking Johnny, who was no longer there with her. She read his story over and over until there was no more wine and no more cigarettes left. She went to bed drunk and tired, kissing a photo of him. Jessica was still young and had her whole life in front of her. She will love somebody again.
