It rains outside this early grey morning,
And Ludwig van Beethoven is playing for me and nobody else.
I read in the newspaper today about the cause of his death from
The latest study which revealed that he died of
Cirrhosis of the liver and hepatitis B
From too much drinking.
Poor Ludwig, the genius, one of the major composers
Died completely deaf, shitting his pants with his liver falling on him
At age 56, some 196 years ago.
Well, this is interesting and sad news at the same time.
All creative people are doomed people
All creative people are suffering people
All creative people have demons inside them
All creative people are fighting the darkness
With substances while creating the art
To be lived for centuries or forever.
He could’ve been a regular family man,
Working a merchant job somewhere in Vienna,
Raising a family and eating dinner with them every evening
Going to work and paying his bills on time.
That wasn’t an option for him, though.
He was too big for that. He sure was something larger than
The average working guy trying to survive.
He created some of the best immortal music
For all of us to enjoy, and humanity will cherish that music forever
While poor Ludwig suffered miserably for his craft,
Fighting his demons and eventually losing
The fight of all fights.

While Beethoven was on his deathbed, somebody snipped
a lock of his hair.
The lock of his hair with today’s modern technology
Helped scientists figure out the cause of this death.
The analysis of his DNA told all the secrets,
And more.
Poor Ludvig, you can rest in peace now,
Your music lives on and still brings the highest
Quality of anything ever created.
That fucking lock of hair exposed you as an alcoholic
What the fuck do these kids know about the
Life of a genius from two hundred years ago?
By the way, they still don’t know what caused his early hearing loss
Or his gastrointestinal issues.
And also, somebody way back then in that family tree
Has been unfaithful, as the research suggests.
That fucking Y chromosome knows best.