Poem: Rainy days, rainy thoughts

Sometimes it rains through the clear sky
Like the sky is cleansing itself and getting it all out.
Sometimes I sit and wonder about the sky through
The whiskey mind and the clouds of smoke.
There is something in that smoke that makes a man wonder.
There is something in the sky that does the same.
The whiskey is cold, and it tastes like freedom,
The only thing that one cares about always.
The only thing that one gets less of every day.
The only thing that is being taken away slowly.
You can’t take the words out of the song.
It’s been written this way. It is meant to be this way.
It wouldn’t be the same song otherwise.
There is music in the air, and there is smoke.
There is a brave heart, and there are bluebirds in the sky.
There is a strong mind and a weak soul
And there are so many books meant to be read
But most of them will be forgotten.
There is so much in life that it takes several lives
To live honestly and fully and experience everything.
Some men never lived, and some never died.
When it rains, the world stops, and everyone is waiting for it to stop.
When it rains, the soul wants to get out there and be free,
And wash itself out in that warm summer rain.
Some things will never be the same as people
Would never be the same.
There are songs that never will be played again.
Like the song of freedom.

My shit’s out of luck or the stories of my life. Part I

My current situation and some deep ‘philosophical’ thoughts 

Sometimes you might find yourself thinking about something that you believe you are an expert of. Like myself, I am deep into my thoughts and they come to me one after another just like glasses of wine I am drinking, one after another, after another; and so into the night and so into my life. People are funny, thinking that they know everything. They like to share their bullshit with you, trying to convince you that whatever they say is the holy truth, the only right way. Usually, I just nod agreeably hoping to get the fuck out of there asap; to escape, avoid the entire situation, avoid everyone, abandon the human race. Sometimes you may feel like you just stuck there and you have to listen to their bullshit which is just simply driving you fucking insane. Why do I always have to be in those stupid situations, talking to the people I hate on topics I don’t give a shit about? Fuck all that, I think I don’t have to suffer anymore. Let somebody else waste their lives on that random bullshit. I am out. I don’t have a fucking minute to waste on any of your stupid problems. I just don’t care. 

I am thinking a lot about my future. What is it out there for me? What the hell will I be doing a year from now, two years from now, five… Who knows? Nobody. But we all live and hope for ‘the Best’ and ‘the Best’ is always fucking busy somewhere else but just never by me. Sounds familiar? Ok, good. We are on the same page then. All my life I have been waiting for a miracle, like something unusual might happened to me because I am a special person, the selected one, the fucking best person in the world. But nothing extraordinary did ever happened. It’s been a rough ride for most of my life. Nothing was easy, nothing was free. There was no accidental lottery winning, no credible person solving all of my problems, no lucky charms, no good karma, and not even a bad one. Always with my back up against the wall, I often think, am I on the right path? Am I doing the right thing? Where in the hell will I be if I continue to go this way or that way or if I just remain standing here waiting? What is this all about? Am I somewhere near the place I wanted to be? I do believe though, that some of these questions will find their answers years from now, eventually. But now I will remain here in the dark, questioning and figuring shit out just like a real man should do.  

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