I woke up with a little bit of a headache on St. Patrick’s Day morning. I’ve had some wine last night. I was tired of driving 16 hours for Uber and when I came home, I decided to take it easy. My life was not easy then and everything seemed to be working against me. I’ve lost two nice corporate jobs last year and now I’ve been full-time employed, or self-employed, or whatever the fuck you call this, driving for Uber. I’ve become just “a driver who drove random people around the town for a living.” I was also an inspired writer who never fucking had any time to sit down and write anything because all I could think about was how in the fuck am I going to pay my bills this month. Seven years of college and ten years of professional business career experience went to shit and all of a sudden, I was not needed anywhere and starving for money. My shit was out of luck and so was my life.
March 17th, 2017 was a nice, warm, and sunny day. Perfect weather to get shit-faced for a holiday like that. I woke up feeling sick and tired but I had no time or opportunity to recover from the constant sleep deprivation, habitual frustration, anxiety, light obesity, anger management issues, light form of alcoholism, and impulsive smoking. A complete package. Little that I knew what this day will bring to me later on.
The cold water was running down from my faucet into my hands as I was trying to wash away my tired, puffed-up, swollen face. It felt great, very refreshing. I don’t think it was helping my bad life situation and overall sadness but it was something. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, and made my breakfast. The usual routine. Nothing special. I thought about a bottle of cold beer in the fridge but then I thought about the smell of it in the car and the passengers possibly complaining and Uber locking down my account. Fuck that, I thought. That wasn’t an option. But it was a Saturday, a St. Patrick’s Day for fuck’s sake, who would ever complain about the alcohol smell? I couldn’t take any risks. I needed the money. The bills were handing over my head like a ton of bricks waiting until I wasn’t ready and then fall down on my head squashing me and my misery creating just a puddle of shit on the pavement. All I needed was to survive another fucking working day.
jobless
What happened next?
So here I was, thirty years old, unemployed, broke but happy. It all happened two years ago as I am typing this. November 2017 was a motherfucker of a month for me. I remember waking up the next day and having no early morning alarms set up, not rushing to get anywhere, no turnpikes, no traffics, no more frustrations, no more anxiety, no more work. I was jobless and free. I woke up, got my shower, got my breakfast, and thought about what should I be doing now since I have all the time in the world to myself.
I’ve decided to wash my laundry. I was so excited that I forgot to check my pockets, and washed my “ChapStick” along with my jeans and dress shirts, fucking them all up with greasy stains. Next, I’ve decided to clean my house. I’ve got plenty of time so I’ve decided to go deep and wash everything well, reach all the hard-to-reach places and make my house shine. Everything took me about half of the day. When the afternoon came around, I’ve decided that I need to get some air. I got into my car and drove to Wawa to get some coffee and smoked a cigarette. While smoking outside I was thinking about it all. What’s next for me? The house is clean and the laundry is done. What should I be doing? When should I start looking for new jobs? Not now, for sure. Fuck that. I’ve had enough. I needed some time to clear my head. I needed some time to recover. I’ll go home and write something, I thought. Plenty of time for writing now. I should put it all in on writing. Why not? This is a great opportunity now since I have no agenda anymore.
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